The beginning of the end

I was completely taken by surprise when we had a light rain this morning. The weather seemed a fitting tribute to the mood of our home. It was somewhat somber but also incredibly peaceful for the first half of the day. My parents had a talk this morning and with my Dads blessing my Mom has decided no longer take any food or fluids.

Hospice came and gave her a catheter and we increased her medications to make her more comfortable. She can not be without her mask for more than a few minutes and we all agree that dehydration is a much more peaceful way to pass than waiting for her breathing to claim her - which is not far off.

This comfort care business is not easy. Her evenings are bad. When we finally got the right medications into her to make her comfortable they had been in long enough to cause nausea. Even with the comfort care nausea medications she threw up - which when you have no diaphragm strength is something like a small burp.

Thankfully we survived the evening and she is sleeping peacefully now after having received a blessing. Tomorrow she will be getting a morphine pump. My comfort care is coming in the form of my Aunt, the nurse, who will be here within the hour and staying with us and guiding my Mom through until the end.

While we have prepared ourselves for this point there is still a sense of disbelief when we find ourselves standing at the threshold. Tonight our hearts resonate with Hymn #128 - When Faith Endures

I will not doubt, I will not fear; God's love and strength are always near.
His promised gift helps me to find an inner strength and peace of mind.
I give the Father willingly my trust, my prayers, humility.
His spirit guides, his love assures that fear departs when faith endures.