The tears finally came

If you know me you probably know that I cry pretty easily. But the last few months when it came to my Mom I haven't been able to cry. Ive cried about other things but when I talked about my Mom or thought about her passing it felt like there was a barrier that was holding the emotion at bay. I think I feared that if I opened that door and cried there would be pain waiting there.

And then tonight my friend Andee, my sis in-law Sarah, and I went out to dinner and to our annual Women's Conference for our Church. The messages were inspiring and uplifting and it put my heart into a vulnerable state. On the way home the conversation turned to Andee's good friend who recently passed and I shared an experience about the night my Mom passed and the tears started coming.It was like there was a dam inside of me waiting to burst and the tears came no matter how hard I tried to hold them back.

Thankfully we were close to home and I was able to run and hide away in a quiet place alone. I listened to the beautiful music of Kim Reed as I cried. Her music was such an important part of my Moms journey for us. The tears flowed and sobs escaped. I was wrong about the tears bringing pain, no hidden pain came. In fact it was like a healing balm of relief to finally release the tears.

As I listened to the song "Going Home," a song that for so long represented my Mom leaving this earthly home, the words took on new meaning. They brought me comfort that words can not describe and a meaning that has changed me forever. I am healing. I use to be afraid of healing. Afraid that if I healed it somehow diminished the impact of her life on me. Now I see that healing is the best way to honor her.

I love my Mom. I will always love my Mom. No one in this life will ever take her place. In some ways only I can do that. I am her daughter, the one she trained and raised and through me she will live on forever. She raised me to be strong and resilient. To not only survive but thrive. I hear her in my mind saying "YES!" the way she always did when she was really proud of me. Not only do I hear her in my mind but I feel her in my heart. I know she is proud of me.

I am healing.

Lake Cavanaugh News

This piece was published in the Lake Cavanaugh Newsletter in August. We spent many happy summers at the Lake growing up in fact a lot of my favorite childhood memories were at the Lake. It was a lot of work for my Mom but she drove the 48 hour round trip each year. Its touching that they honored her.

Caroline Rober passed away peacefully surrounded by her family on February 1 of Lou Gehrig‘s
disease (ALS). She lived in Brea, California with her husband Larry Rober. The Rober family
first came to the lake in 1958 when Lew and Irene Rober bought property on South Shore
Drive. Their children Larry Rober and Linda Rober Howson spent their childhood summers at
the lake and to this day enjoy the original property. Caroline met Larry in 1973 in Santa
Monica, California. They were married in 1975 and from then on Lake Cavanaugh became a
fond place for Caroline and Larry during their summer vacations at the lake where they
watched their children and grandchildren enjoy life at the cabin. Many of you may have
enjoyed Caroline‘s chocolate chip cookie recipe found in the latest edition of the Lake
Cavanaugh Fire Department Auxiliary cookbook. She and Larry would bake cookies for the
―Once Around Cavanaugh‖ walkers as they passed the Rober driveway on South Shore Drive.
Caroline and her daughter Lisa kept an inspiring blog of her battle with ALS that can be read
at www.Carolinerober.com.

Attention Walkers!

We are so excited that the walk is quickly approaching! Here are a few more details for those who will be walking with us.

Instead of getting t-shirts for our team we have decided to get balloons with Sweet Caroline on them. We will be wearing red so if you want to wear red with us you can. There is a chance they will be handing out shirts but we are not sure.

We will be meeting at 9:30 in order to take a group picture so please try to be there. We will be near the registration table - just look for our Sweet Caroline balloons. The track will be 3 laps around the lake at the park so if you are concerned about being able to do the whole walk you should be able to stop after 1 or 2 miles.

The other exciting announcement is that the Family History Center is celebrating 20 years of being open that same day! Even more exciting is that at 3:00 that afternoon they will be dedicating the Caroline Rober Internet Learning Center! You are invited to attend the open house and the dedication.

It is going to be an exciting day! Let us know if you have any questions.
Check our progress here on our goal! We are only $200 away from our goal!

We look forward to seeing you there!