All is well

There is so much I want and need to write and yet there is no time to sit and get the words out. Planning a funeral is a lot of work to coordinate and its nice spending time with loved ones. Before too much time passed I did want to share a few thoughts that might answer how our family is doing right now. Ive been hesitant to express some of it because I don't want anyone to try to correlate how we are doing as a reflection of how much we loved our Mom. Our friend Amelia whose Dad also had ALS shared this with us.

I remember feeling frustrated when people called my dad's passing a loss, it truly was not a loss, if anything it was a great gain of testimony & knowledge of what the purpose of life is & a confirmation that the gospel is true!

That sums up a lot how I feel. Of course I am sad that we have lost my Mom! Of course if I could choose I would bring her back in heartbeat. But I cant choose to bring her back and it has happened and since I cant change it I can choose to be grateful for everything I have learned. I can not even begin to express how much my life has changed in these last 6 months. I am a different person - a better person.

The day after my Mom died I was having a really bad day. I didn't want to eventually be okay. You can read more about my feelings here if you want but it can be summed up by saying I was really angry for a few moments that I had to get use to a new life without my Mom. I took a wrong turn on accident and ended up passing the Rose Hill Friends Church and their sign read:

Change is inevitable - Growth is intentional.

I smiled to myself - here was my very first message from my Mom :) It seemed so appropriate because that is exactly what my Mom would have said. Buck up girl. Get on with things. Learn what you can from it and make your life better but stop feeling sorry for yourself because you cant change it.

I know that things are going to get hard after the funeral as the shock wears off but I also know that I will always be grateful for having had the chance to realize now just how special my Mom was. I discovered a lot of myself in her during these months and serving her and being with her has left me with an inner satisfaction that can not be found anywhere else. I have no regrets.

We sang Come Come Ye Saints in church today and part of the last verse sums it all up:

And if we die before our journeys through, Happy Day! All is well!

We know my Mom is in a better place and is happy, for her it is a happy Day. I found this picture and laughed because I know this is what it looks like in Heaven right now....

My Mom sitting around cracking jokes and catching up with my
Grandpa Lew and Grandma Irene.

All is well! All is well!