Lisa's Funeral Remarks

It’s an honor to be here today, it’s an honor to be the daughter of Caroline Rober. I would like to thank you all for coming today. I would also like to express thanks to the Placentia 2^nd ward and my ward back in UT – the Hurricane 13^th ward for making it possible for me to spend these last few months here with my Mom. I will never be able to express how much that means to me and how much it meant to my Mom.

It was an interesting thing to move back in with my parents after having left, grown up, and started my own family. My Mom and I had developed a deep friendship over the last 10 years and it was fun to have the opportunity to live together again as grown women and friends, rather than as a know it all teenager and mother. When I first started caring for her after Thanksgiving she was gracious in every way. The disease was far enough along that she was no longer able to care for herself but instead of bitterness she handled the everyday annoyance with laughter. At that point she couldn't control her tongue and saliva very well and I always knew when I had her laughing good because she would drool. And instead of being embarrassed and upset it made her laugh ever harder!

My favorite time of day was doing her hair and putting her make up on. We would listen to uplifting music as she allowed me to dress her up and try new ways of doing her hair and makeup. It was delightful. Her speech was also starting to be very difficult to understand and when she said something I couldn't understand I would make up some ridiculous interpretation and she would laugh hysterically! I specifically remember one example of this where she had told my Dad to go "put up the lights." I knew what she had said but my Dad did not understand her. I turned to my Dad and said, she told you to "go get a life." She laughed so hard she could hardly stand it.

My Mom taught us to be tough, to fight our own battles and problem solve. I remember being in the 4th grade and there was a mean girl at the bus stop. I didn't get along with her and the girl started bringing her Mom to the bus stop who would get involved. I remember thinking - oh you just wait until tomorrow when I bring my Mom to the bus stop! But when I asked my Mom to come she said no. I needed to figure out a way to solve it myself. I remember being a little hurt and eventually started going to a different bus stop where I met new and better friends. I am so grateful that she didn't always sweep in and solve our problems for us. As a mother I realize now just how hard that must have been but I also see how much that made me more capable to deal with life as an adult.

There were times when my Mom did come to our aid when it was necessary. It took me until about 4 years ago to finally confess to my Mom one of my childhood secrets I had kept from her. It was one of the most important lessons I ever learned. I was a pretty good kid growing up and never broke the rules while at school. This one time - literally like the one time I did something small wrong I got caught. I knew I would be busted by my Mom and I did not want to get in trouble. So I used the quick wits she also endowed me with and found a sneaky way out of this situation. When I got home I "proved" to my Mom they had the wrong person. That poor school. She took off for Brea Junior High and before long had the school apologizing to me. I felt horrible - she trusted me and she was not going to let any school take advantage of me. I can assure you that her faith and trust in me taught me more than any other lesson I would have learned had I been punished for actually doing what was wrong – and I never broke the rules at school again.

It didn't take long to learn that my Mom was passionate. There was nothing in this world that she could not do through pure hard work and her iron will power. She was one of the hardest working people I have ever known and she always strove for perfection in what she did. It’s something that I see in all of us kids. We don’t want to just do a job – we try to do the job to the best of our abilities. When I started babysitting she would always tell me that I had to leave a home nicer than I had found it. That was how she lived her life - she tried to leave everything and everyone better than when she had encountered them.

There is no doubt that my Mom was strict and she had high expectations for us. I often wondered why none of us rebelled against her rules and high expectations. I heard a speaker in a parenting conference once say that “rules without a relationship will equal rebellion.” That made so much sense to me because while my Mom was strict my Mom loved to play with us - and when my Mom played she played hard!

I remember going to Disneyland with her the first day before school each year, she wore us kids out. She loved to go to movies and we loved to go with her because that always meant treats and popcorn. I remember one time I was living in Seattle and she came to visit. She wanted to take me to see a movie and I wanted to see one but she wanted to see a different movie. She looked at me and said, "why not see them both!" So we did and caught dinner in between. It’s such a small thing but it was the fun and spontaneity that made it special and she was great at that. She loved to go miniature golfing for family night or plan other fun age appropriate activities. I even remember her coordinating laser tag for FHE because that is what Mark and I wanted to do - you know to show those old people up. Turns out when the game was over she had beat us all!

She threw us the best birthday parties ever and made us feel like a VIP - a Very Important Person not only on our birthday but every day of the year. Even when I wasn’t getting along with my Mom I always knew that she loved me. I may have said I doubted it, but I never did. She gave her entire life to making our lives special and wonderful and trying to give us the childhood she never had.

What I loved the most about my Mom was that of all the many things I learned from her they were things she never told us - we learned because that was the way she lived her life. She expected us to work hard and she worked right along beside us. She expected us to be helpful and we grew up watching her help everyone around her. She always was prepared with canned goods in the back of the van so we could help people we saw living on the street. I remember one time I gave one of those bags to a woman with 2 small children right near Luckys grocery store. She was so grateful and I came back heartbroken for them and crying. I’m not sure where we were going but my Mom changed her plans took me into the store and allowed me to buy two bags of groceries and take them back out to that Mother. She had so much compassion empathy for those around her and she loved to help people. She was always the first to extend a welcome and the first to extend help to someone in need.

I found something I wrote in 5th grade that I wanted to share. I wrote, "When I grow up I want to be like my wonderful Mom who cares what you feel like and if you feel sad she will always make you feel better." And she always did. Even when I was here "taking care" of her she lifted and taught me every day.

I wish I could share with you my e-mail inbox full of literally hundreds of e-mails from people that she has touched over the last 6 months. Her willingness to not hide behind pretenses and to share her experience with the entire internet is one of the things I admire the most about her. She wasn’t afraid of being taken advantage of or judged, she never thought of being someone other than herself. She was aware of her shortcomings but she never let them inhibit her. And look at how much good has come out of her willingness to be real and vulnerable. Thousands of people have been touched her story. The day she died her blog had 1,552 views. I will always be grateful that my Mom was real and never tried to someone other than herself. Her integrity was unwavering and she saw the world in black and white. It sometimes caught people of guard but in this world of pretenses and relativism my Mom was like an unwavering anchor and it brought me comfort and security.

My Mom was born into a difficult family life. It had been like that for generations. It always surprised me that she loved Family History so much when her family history wasn't much to brag about. But look at what she did in 1 generation. If you look at our family pedigree chart before my mom you find anger, grief, abuse, addiction. But if you picture her pedigree chart towards her descendants you see the opposite picture. A temple marriage of 35 years, college graduates, well adjusted happy children, 7 beautiful grandchildren…..it’s a whole new type of posterity. What a remarkable woman. Life may not have handed her an easy set of circumstances but she did not care. She worked passionately to create something different for her children. She practiced what she preached and left this world a better place than she found it.

That is the way that I want my Mom to be remembered. Not only did she love family history - she literally changed family history.

Mark's Funeral Remarks

I had the option not to speak today and while no one wants to have to speak at their own mothers funeral I couldn’t stand by and not pay tribute to such an amazing person. There are so many ways I could spend the next 10 minutes talking about Mom. My mom is so many things. She is a mother, a wife, A great friend and confidant, a teacher, a cook, a PTA president, Primary president 3 times, a tutor, an entertainer, great dancer, she LOVES Christmas, a personal cheerleader, a personal psychologist, professional genealogist, and she’s a great organizer... in fact, in the mid 90's when the electronic label maker was introduced to market it was a very big deal in the Rober household. And, if you were looking for my mom's very well used label maker, you'll find it out in the garage in a Tupperware bin in line with all the other identical Tupperware bins with a printed label on the front that says, "LABELMAKER".

But of all the things I could talk about today, I think the most deserving is to focus on her simple approach to life. She didn’t overcomplicate things. In Alma 37:6 we read “…behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass” She had a simple, determined focus on the things she decided were important to her. And one of the things that was most important to her was to raise her children to be responsible adults with testimonies founded in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

I’ll give a few examples. Mom was a simple teacher. She was always looking for opportunities to teach to us. I can remember at my 5th Birthday party arguing with a friend over a toy. She saw the end of the disagreement and gave my friend the toy and sat me down at my own party to listen to the Brite music tape on learning to share while everyone else got to keep playing. I think it was even legitimately my toy to be playing with but the message was clear. We were held to a higher standard and it shouldn’t have come to a heated argument regardless of whose party it was. Even up to a few months ago when my wife and I walked into the room I sat down next to her and she immediately hit me with her one good arm and spelled out on her iPad that out I took the last seat in the room and my sweet wife was left standing. She was right.

She was a hard worker. There was a simple rule, after school you had to do your chores. Then you had to do your homework and only then could you go out to play if it was still light out. Playing with your friends was a privilege not a right. Every day the chores would be different. Some combination of vacuuming the downstairs, emptying the dishwasher, doing laundry or helping with dinner and so on. And you never dared to cut corners on your chores because if you’re going to do something you better do it right the first time, and she had no qualms with calling an executive time out in the roller Hockey Game out front until the dishes actually got put away in the right cupboards.

We sometimes would have marathon work days. There used to be a hand made green sign that would hang on the front door that all the neighborhood kids recognized that simply said in bold all caps, DO NOT KNOCK KIDS CANNOT PLAY. When the Dreaded green sign went up, it meant it was not going to be a journal worthy Saturday.

She was trying to prepare us to be responsible adults from a very young age. She always assumed strength, not fragility. She would often say that the biggest compliment she could get as a parent was that when we turned 18 we were ready to leave the house. We all were, and we all did… but paradoxically I think we probably left with more respect and love for our mom than those who might stick around not ready for the next phase in life.

While she could be very strict in her simple parenting approach, she also had such a great capacity to love. She knew the names of all of our friends and our house was always the place to be in the neighborhood. We had an open door policy, our food was your food, no rooms were off limits and you could make a mess you just had to make sure to clean it up afterwards. She set the tone and our house was a home that people wanted to be in because you could feel love emanating from the walls. She had high expectations and we certainly knew when we screwed up but she was always be your biggest cheerleader for any success, large or small. The quickest I ever walked home from school was the day I won the 6th grade student body election because I couldn’t wait to share the victory with my campaign manager. Her genuine reactions had this way of making you feel so good about yourself.

The world offers up a lot of distractions for us to lose sight of what really matters. The billboards we see, the ads we hear the magazines at the grocery store all send the same choreographed message. They create a false reality that the important things in life have to do with the square footage of your house or the status symbol in your driveway or how many pounds you weigh. As a result a lot of people spend money they don’t have, to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like…. and then they can’t figure out why they still feel empty.
She never subscribed to these fabricated realities simply because they didn’t align with her true priorities. She was able to keep things simple, filter out the distractions and it was liberating for her.

Honestly, while many women are constantly worrying about their image and buying the latest fads from the most stylish designers... Mom's primary criteria for selecting a Christmas sweatshirt was that something on there had to be battery powered. Preferably C or D batteries... none of this double A nonsense. But to her is was simple, she loved Christmas why in the world wouldn’t an awesome Christmas sweatshirt that played music, had an entire strand of lights wrapped around it with reindeer flying around?

In that same vein, the world can send the message that, being a stay at home mom isn’t living up to your full potential. That never really resonated or affected mom because the way she did it, raising kids was a full time job for her and she worked overtime being on PTA boards and being the team moms and class room volunteer and the Den leader, and so on. She didn’t care what other people thought. She knew what she wanted with her life. It was that simple.

As I close my remarks I’d like to tell of an experience my mom had a few months ago because it serves to summarize who she is so well. I call it the parable of the Christmas lace and I’ve told it to our son Kam and I will continue to repeat it to our children yet unborn. It happened this last October and as it turned out it would be the last time she would ever drive a car. The days at this point were already filled with decorating for Christmas and for some reason mom decided that some random placemat in the corner of the dining room really would not be complete unless it had a red trim lace around it. She knew in her head exactly the kind of lace it needed to be and she also knew she didn’t have it. It was evening and my sister Lisa was talking to her husband on Skype and my Dad wasn’t home so mom decided to sneak out and drove herself down to Michaels. Michaels didn’t have it so she tried JoAnns. They also didn’t have it so she decided to try Tall Mouse. Now bear in mind at this point that this was not an easy task for her as her body was getting weaker by the day. Her speech was slurred, her voice projection not very loud, she couldn’t use her left arm and her legs were starting to lose strength. She got out of the car and still not accustomed to the pace at which her body was betraying her she tripped on the curb and was unable to move her arms to brace for the fall. As you could imagine she landed hard. After about 15 minutes of laying on the asphalt she had taken stock on her injuries and while her arm wasn’t broken like she initially thought, it was already swollen and turning blue. Her face and knees were also scraped and bleeding. A couple walked by in the distance and Mom faintly called for help up as loud as she could only to hear them laughing about the drunk woman lying on the ground across the way. While I’m sure it was a genuine misunderstanding on the their part, it rips my heart to think of a woman of such dignity, so incredibly self-sufficient her whole life, reduced to helplessness lying in an oil stained parking lot. Eventually, she was able to crawl back to the car and pull herself back to her feet. And this is the part that matters, although it would have been perfectly understandable, she didn’t call home and say pick me up, she didn’t sit there and cry and cursing God for her situation…. swollen, bruised, and bleeding… she made her way into the store and bought the stupid lace.

When my wife and I heard this story at first we sort of laughed with tears in our eyes because it was so classic Mom. It was the perfect metaphor for her life. The lace represented the things she had decided were important to her early in her life. Determined, single-minded and against nearly insurmountable odds she had a simple focus. She was raised in a dysfunctional, single parent household familiar with almost all forms of abuse. Yet she somehow managed to break a chain of abuse reaching back for generations and gave her children as many tools she could for them to make a positive impact in the world. She had every reason to make excuses. But she never did. My Dad told us that only once through this whole ALS ordeal did mom ever break down and have the “why is this happening to me” conversation with God. After that one night early on, true to her form, both privately and publicly she was once again making the absolute best out of the cards she was given and blessing the lives of so many in the process.

Again, from Alma 37:6-7- “…behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; …. and by very small means the Lord doth…. bringeth about the salvation of many souls.”

Because of Mom’s, simple, and persistent dedication to the things that actually mattered most to her, her influence upon those she’s come in contact with, has effected hundreds all will affect thousands for generations to come. From a personal standpoint if she had lived to be 100 years old and took care of her every day of my life, I’ll never be able to repay her for what she’s given me.

I hold here in my hands her scriptures. She read them every day. I wouldn’t call her a scriptorian and yet these are some of the most well worn scriptures I’ve ever seen. I’d like to close with her simple powerful testimony written in her own hand 20 years ago [inscription]. This was how she felt 20 years ago, that was how she 2 weeks ago… and most importantly, I know that’s how she feels right now. I’m grateful to her for giving me that knowledge that we will see her again and for teaching me about the Savior, His Gospel, and His plan for us.

Pam's Funeral Remarks

My sister Caroline had unwavering faith and now dwells in the house of the Lord

Today we celebrate her life and on behalf of my family, I would to thank each and every one of you for you kindness, friendship and for touching her life in one special way or another. It would be impossible to mention all the kindnesses that were extended. But please know that from the smallest to the largest act of goodness and comfort, it was always appreciated and never went unnoticed.

Not everyone gets the opportunity to put their house in order by knowing that their time on this earth is almost done. But leave it up to my sis, the queen of organization and containers to have it planned right down to the color of her casket!

As children growing up there was just the two of us. Missy as I called her was 3 ½ years older than me and believe me after age 21, I never let her forget it.

Thought it would be hard for many of you to believe now, in her younger years Caroline was the wild child who always pushed the envelope and challenged authority; and I was the peacemaker and the cowardly lion. Isn’t it amazing how our rolls change?

In her youth, she loved to read. Nancy Drew mysteries were her favorite books and she read them all the time. Caroline was a terrific student in school and her teachers all loved her. She could spell anything. Mom and sis always said I could never keep a secret so for most of my young life they spelled everything. I can’t tell you how long I thought B-R-A-T spelled princess.

Missy helped me learn to tie my shoes and was forever having to find my glasses when I would loose them. She hated to cook, I hated to clean. So I would cook, she would clean. We were a good fit.

As a child, I was very ticklish. Caroline thought it was so funny to tickle me until I wet my pants. She would tickle me, I became a limp noodle, would fall to the floor and she would grab my hand and make me hit myself in the face while saying, “hit yourself, hit yourself fool”; She always got the best of me because she was the strongest.

About a month ago while I was dressing her, I couldn’t help myself. Her left arm was already completely limp and the right one was becoming weak so as I was taking off her shirt, I took her hand and softly smacked her in the face while saying, hit yourself, come on, hit yourself fool. I told her I knew my day of redemption had finally come. She laughed so hard she drooled. I could always make her laugh.

Missy was very coordinated, graceful, beautiful and fearless. Believe me, it was hard being Caroline Braxton’s pudgy little sister. The boys seemed to gravitate to her and she was an absolute knockout. She could twirl a baton like a professional, marched in several parades and also did flags in high school. Her favorite song when she was young was “Illusive Butterfly of Love”, and our song was “Moon River”.

Caroline was as strong as an Ox, could move a house of furniture by herself, and was hard to beat at arm wrestling, even for many men.

Like all sisters, we had our sister to sister combat and our share of knock down drag out fights. To this day we both still carry the battle scars of some of those wars.

As we grew up and went our separate ways we stayed close. One evening when she was visiting me from San Diego, we went dancing at the Lobster House in Marina Del Ray and this kind of cute guy came over to ask her to dance. That man was Larry Rober and the rest is history.

Her life’s mission was to be the best wife, mother and grandmother possible, raise her children in the Church, and for them to be givers and not takers. Brian, Lisa and Mark are her masterpieces and far exceeded any of her expectations. She beamed when she spoke about her Grandchildren and was a terrific Auntie to each of my kids. Because I was a working mom, there were times she stepped in for me and want on class field trips with my kids, went to their games and supported each of their school activities.

Caroline’s passion was genealogy and she was fantastic at it. I can’t tell you how many times she tried to drag me to a cemetery or call to tell me about something she had found out about our family history. I admit it, I pretended to listen because she loved it so, but in reality, and she knew it, “I would rather have had a root canal with no anesthesia than do genealogy. Now I am sorry I never learned from her.

In 1983 I told her I was going to marry a man that I had only known for a couple of month. SHE WAS FURIOUS and being the protective older sister just wanted to keep me from making a big mistake. To say the least her and my new husband didn’t get off to a good start. Sis said “it won’t last a year but if I’m wrong at your 25th anniversary, I will get on my knees, in public and beg his forgiveness”. Well, as our 25th anniversary approached she herself said “Am I to make the pillow, or are you buying one”? I do get a pillow to kneel on don’t I? We never made her do that but she would have because she was the first to admit when she was wrong at something. Her and my husband Rick became close over the years and he considers her his sister.

Some of my fondest memories were traveling across the USA with her by car when I was 16 and she was 19. It was an amazing trip.

In February of 1994 we did a sister’s trip to London. It was freezing there. When we arrived I wanted to take a taxi but NO, she decided we would take the subway from the airport to the hotel which was miles away dragging our over packed luggage up and down the stairs of the station and in the streets all while trying to find the hotel in the pouring rain. When we finally arrived we were exhausted, wet and I was more that just a little cranky only to learn that our room was up 4 flights of stairs and there was no elevator or bellmen. We just looked at each other in disbelief and fell down laughing. It was a perfect trip. I remember sitting at the Brown’s Hotel having high tea in comfortable over stuffed chairs by the fireplace telling stories of our lived and how thankful we were to have one another.

One Christmas at Missy’s house after dinner, something funny was said in the kitchen while we were getting pie. I don’t remember who started it, but a little tap of whip cream on the nose lead to a full out war with whipped cream and cool whip flying. The kitchen, the cabinets, floor, walls and both of us was covered in whipped cream. We were slipping and sliding as we chased one another trying to knock the other one down. When it was over we couldn’t get up we were laughing so hard. And the look on all the kids’ faces was pure shock and amazement.

Christmas was her favorite holiday and in 1993 I made her a complete set of Christmas dinner wear for 24 people. It took me over 6 month and I worked on it 3-4 hours each night. The look on her face when she opened it is something I will never forget. She was so amazed and grateful. So much so not only did she treasure it, she keeps it on display in her cabinet where it remains today because she was so proud of it. That is the kind of sister I have.

Our father Robert Braxton is still living. Fortunately for him, he is unable to comprehend that his child has preceded him in death, especially since he lost his only sibling, our Aunt Peg to the same disease that took his daughter. God is good and has spared this pain.

Caroline accepted me for who I was and loved me unconditionally. She supported me in all of my endeavors, was always there anytime I needed her help or a listening ear and was never bashful about telling me when I was wrong. I will miss being able to pick up the phone and call her with one of my “CAN YOU BELIEVE IT” moments. But I know she is with our family in heaven. That is my comfort.

We told each other we loved each other all the time and the sweetest thing she spelled out with her foot a few days before she died was “my sissy is my soul mate”. As both a nurse and sister, it was my honor and privilege to be able to help care for her and be there when she took her last breath.

I want to thank my brother-in-law, Larry for being such a wonderful husband and so supportive, patient, kind and loving to Caroline all during her illness. To my niece Lisa for always being an advocate on her behalf, caring for her every need and such a loving daughter to my sister. It meant the world to her mother to have her at her side all those month. And to Kelly my daughter, for being such a support to both her aunt and to me. She was always there at a moments notice and so inventive with ideas to make her life better during her last months of life.
In closing, Sis, I thought of you with love today, but that is nothing new.

I thought about yesterday and the days before that to.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name

Now all I have is our memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is my keepsake, with which I’ll never part.

God has you in his keeping; I have you forever in my heart."

I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I am living, my sister you’ll be.

Eulogy by Brian Rober

At rare times in a person’s life you are asked a request that makes you ponder your core and explore your principles. So it was 6 months ago, with no mask, still with a strong voice and even a stronger conviction that mom requested that I deliver her eulogy. She, before any of us, had a confirmation that she was moving on. It seems such a short time ago that I downplayed her request, only now to find myself fulfilling one of moms last wishes. In the process, reiterating to me, that moms always know best.

Caroline Melissa Braxton was born April 23, 1952 in San Bernardino California to Robert Charles Braxton and Gloria Lou Tabor. Sissy or missy is what mom’s nickname was growing up. Cute and simple, the name stuck with her all 58 years of her life. She, along with her only sibling, younger sister Pamela, moved from place to place, always a southern California girl, and never for longer than a few years at a time. Mom grew up well off by most standards; but didn’t have it all that easy when it came to family relationships. While not a secret and openly talked about in our family, I don’t feel it necessary to go into details about moms struggles growing up. Rather know that mom was convinced she would and could break the abusive chains she had been subjected to. To this end, she left her house early and often, retreating away from some of the things that awaited her at home. Many of you may be surprised to know that mom was married at the age of 17, before my dad. It was probably an escape route for her, but a blessing at the same time as it was her first husband and his family who introduced mom to the gospel of Jesus Christ. Their short marriage ended amicably and eventually in 1975 mom met dad. In mom’s words dad was a gentlemen’s gentlemen. They were married and started life together in Santa Monica, California. A few years in Santa Monica and mom and dad moved to Torrance California, 10 years in Torrance and 3 kids later, Brea California has been called home ever since. Dad and mom would have celebrated 36 years of marriage this August. Despite having some distinct opposite traits, mom and dad worked ever so well as a team. Dad was always good to mom and mom to him. Together they provided a home of memories, memorable family outings, support, love and security. Mom supported dad with his work and his church callings. Dad supported mom as a mother and in her professional genealogy rolls. It was endearing for us all to watch dad’s support to mom these last few months. Despite some of the frustrations that come with caring for a sick spouse, dad provided the love that mom needed in her difficult time. Their love never ceased to grow.

One of mom’s true life ironies is when she became sick. ALS, or Lou Gehrig’s disease, is 1 of only a few diseases that accelerates a person into Medicare benefits before the age of 65. As mom was only 58, she needed that acceleration, but was denied these benefits because she did not have enough Social Security work credits to her name. To say mom didn’t earn work credits is, as I said, one of her life ironies. Mom worked harder than anybody I know. Actually, mom worked us harder than anybody I know. Social Security would be smart to learn that a work credit is not defined by a punch card, but rather by rendering service to others. She spent hours, days, weeks and months, serving in PTA’s, fulfilling church callings, attending sporting events, delivering family history lectures, and helping hundreds of people discover thousands of ancestors. She fulfilled with honor the role of grandmother, wife, mother, aunt, and friend.

By far without hesitation, mom’s greatest gift was that of a mother. There is no explanation except the divine nature of a woman that can explain how mom took her upbringing and turned it around when it was time for her to fulfill the call as mother. She made the choice in her life that there was a higher calling for her; and for her the word “Mother” would define who she would become. She holds the greatest title of mom for me & my wife Kate, my sister Lisa & her husband John, & my brother Mark and his wife Lisa. She sacrificed, nurtured, taught, and explained the necessary details of life. She wasn’t perfect, but none of us are, and she only occasionally claimed that she was. A pioneer in her own right, she founded our family on the gospel of Jesus Christ creating a great legacy for her posterity. She protected us spiritually and physically and made sure we knew that she always had at least one eye on us at all times, normally that eye in the back of her head. By bearing 3, with marriages her posterity doubled to 6, that 6 grew the posterity even bigger by adding 7 grandchildren. Ashlynn, Briggs, Caleb, Ty, Davis, Kamden, and Beckham unfortunately will not have grandma physically by their side as they navigate through this world. But mom has seen 7 baby blessings, and a baptism, and there is absolutely no doubt in any of our hearts that she will be with us in spirit when 6 other baptisms take place, 6 boys receive the priesthood when they turn 12, when those same 6 boys all leave on missions and when all 7 marry in the temple. Mom’s posterity will reach far beyond the boundaries of 3 children, with her righteous decisions creating a ripple effect for years and years to come.

Mom’s disease has been a learning experience for all involved. Although the disease took mom very quickly, 6 months can seem an eternity when you know the outcome is death. One and only one time did mom express a bitter cry, and as quickly as it came on, it left again. She pulled up her bootstraps, and became a hero of courage and determination. Although she had no chance of survival, she met her challenges head on. Having to explain grandma’s disease to our children is frankly the most difficult challenge as parents my wife and I have had to face. We had no easy answers and were doing our best to survive our breaking news conference when inspiration broke. Elder Neal A. Maxwell, an apostle in the church, summed it up best one time when he said, Quote, “On the other side of the veil there are perhaps seventy billion people. They need the same gospel, and releases occur here to aid the Lord’s work there. A mortal life may need to be shortened by twenty years as we might view it. But if so, it may be done for special services to be rendered by that individual in the Spirit World. Those services will benefit thousands of neighbors. Therefore, though we miss the departed righteous so much here, hundreds may feel their touch there. One day those hundreds will thank the bereaved for gracefully forgoing extended association with choice individuals here in order that they can help hundreds there. In God’s ecology, talent and love are never wasted. Those who have true hope understand this.” End Quote. This was the answer we had been searching for, this was the revelation provided in a moment of stupor. So many of you here today have associations through my mom’s genealogy work. I know with all my heart, and testified to my children; mom was not taken home to an empty stadium. Mom crossed through the veil being welcomed to the ovations of thousands of spirits, high 5’s, thank yous, hugs and kisses. Mom will not be alone. Her hard work, service and knowledge on this earth life earned her a spiritual ticket back home. In Elder Maxwell’s words, talent and love are never wasted. While mom will be missed here, she simply had a higher calling.

To stand up here and rattle off dates of mom’s life would not do it justice. I’d rather take the opportunity to focus on a few of mom’s talents and passions, most of which you are familiar with.

How mom was able to convince dad to move to a neighborhood that decorated for Christmas time better than any other in town is what we call a small miracle. Most of you have been by their home in December and have seen, smelled, felt, heard and experienced mom’s passion for decorating. Mrs. Clause would be an appropriate title for mom during the holidays. I will miss this time of year without mom. I know she kindled my love for the holidays by always creating a holiday atmosphere of love and peace. Mom never did it to show off or to get praise. She did it for a legitimate love of seeing the joy on people’s faces and to promote peace in her home. The amazing thing about mom’s decorating is the feeling that it prompted around all those that ever saw it. How the amazing production was accomplished year after year is a story for another time; but those memories will forever be engrained in my mind as each and every December roll around.

Growing up in the home mom did, etched a sort of childlike innocence on her soul that she carried through life. This trait manifested itself in various ways throughout her life, but none stronger than gift giving and Disneyland. This last September we surprised mom by gathering the whole family together and surprising her as she walked into Disneyland. The combination of the gift, surprise, grandkids and children all together in Disneyland, made that day one of the most special in the last months of her life. She always loved Disneyland, took us and each grandchild for their 5^th birthday, and always took us go the day before school started each year. Mom was always in on the action, and Disneyland provided that perfect opportunity.

As I mentioned earlier, many of you know mom for her work in the genealogy field. The only thing in mom’s life that could compare to motherhood is genealogy. Mom really picked up genealogy after all the kids had left home. Mom’s passion for genealogy allowed her travel with dad all over the world. She served as a mentor to so many people in the Orange Family history center, and loved to travel up and down California giving lectures and seminars. She spent hours in people’s homes helping bringing back the spirit of Elijah, turning the hearts of the children back to their fathers. She spent countless hours in the Salt Lake libraries and helped create small miracles; I particularly liked the following story… A couple of years ago mom was traveling back east looking for a lost ancestors grave. She and her cousin rolled into a small town, knowing absolutely no one and stopped for a quick bite at McDonalds. Mom, never shy had the ability to start a conversation with anybody. She did just this with an older gentleman while waiting in line and they coincidentally hit it off, as he knew the exact farm mom was searching for. What are the odds? He agreed to help lead them to the farm and subsequently look for the grave mom was searching for, having a general knowledge of the area. They found the farm, but were unsuccessful on the gravesite, when, her new friend had to use the restroom. It was there; off up a hillside some ways off of a rural road, that mom’s new friend doing his business looked down in the overgrown brush and unbelievably found he was standing over the elusive gravesite. Rolling into town, meeting a stranger, who then found the gravestone in overgrown brush as he was using the bathroom?? It sounds made up, but the facts are the facts and the facts show that mom has dozens of miraculous stories like these under her belt. Mom worked as a volunteer at the Orange County Family History Center and went on to become the Technical Services Director and later Staff Trainer. She served as President of the Southern California Association of Professional Genealogists and was a favorite lecturer for Genealogical Societies all over Southern California. She helped coordinate the first booth at the Orange County Fair for the APG and was deeply involved in the fair for 5 years. I’d like to share a short blogpost that my dad wrote in honor of my mom just a month ago, recognizing an Award of Merit from the California State Genealogical Alliance and expressing his love for traveling with mom; “In December of last year Caroline received an Award of Merit from the California State Genealogical Alliance. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments in this area. When the kids finished high school she took up the profession with a passion that only those who know her understand well. She became a well respected teacher and researcher. I can't tell you how many times I have spent some of our vacations in cemeteries, city halls and genealogy libraries. I have seen her drive into a strange town and leave two or three days later with several newly discovered gems of information and new friends and relatives forever after the experience. She can tell you off the top of her head all of the names of my and her relatives several generations back. I wouldn't trade these trips and memories for trips to more exotic destinations. I know my ancestors so much better because of these experiences. I have stood in the Cathedral in Canach, Luxembourg where the Robert family attended church before coming to America. (The final "t" was dropped when they came to America.) I have stood in the dirt of the Rober farm at Plymouth, Indiana where my grandfather who I knew was born. I have met Ernie Rightley who still lives on the farm property and heard many funny stories about all of the Rober children who were born there. I have had these same experiences with her on trips to help with her own ancestors.” Of all the professions a person could pursue, mom chose one where she could demonstrate her love, patience, service. How does one get to heaven you ask? Being a genealogist sure seems to get you a fast pass.

A month ago I spent some time with mom talking about some of details that would take place this day. True to her genealogy experiences mom had her ideas ready to go for future generations. One of the passions that mom and I shared was technology. What I have here is one of the coolest gadgets that mixes technology and genealogy and something mom had the foresight to obtain. This little device will sit on mom’s headstone and can be opened by any and all who ever visit. When this 2 dimensional QR barcode is scanned with Smartphone software, a website appears that will take you to pictures, pedigree charts, family information and a storyline of mom’s life. There is no more simple way to say it, but mom truly was a modern pioneer in the genealogy world.

Mom was a great teacher and to that I will be forever grateful. Mom worked and taught, and taught and taught some more. She valued every moment as a teaching moment. She commanded respect, but frankly deserved it. I’m grateful for the value of work and independence she gave to me and my siblings. With all due respect to the deceased, “Rest in peace” will not be a phrase that pertains to mom. Resting was never in her nature. Her work continues on the other side of the veil, to this end was she called home. Some of you have heard us talk of the very spiritual experience that took place the night mom passed away. Her blood pressure had dropped dramatically. Dad called the out of town family and told us news that mom would probably not make it a couple of more hours. A blessing was administered that she would be able to hold on until all the family could gather. I quickly hit the road and said prayer after prayer that mom would be able to hold out, but was at peace if she had to let go. Like the red sea in times of old, the traffic on the 101 and 60 freeways was parted, very few times have I driven those roads so open or with no traffic. So it was that night I made it from San Luis Obispo in record time; mom had held out for all her family to gather. Less than 45 minutes later, after all of the family was at her side, and after a departing blessing from my father, mom knew she could let go. As she peacefully drew her last breaths, her eyes opened. It was so obvious that they had opened not to necessarily focus on us, but rather something beyond our mortal world. It was that moment that we knew mom was crossing over. Whether she saw her mother, her grandmother, her mother in law, a friend, or other ancestors first does not matter. She is seeing them all now. She had completed her work, shared her gifts and talents, and certainly fought her fight. She departed so peacefully and created the most spiritual experience our family has ever witnessed. We created video tapes 4 months ago and I specifically asked mom what she wanted me to say to you all at her funeral. Her answer was the same as you have seen in her writings, her blog posts, and her written history. She does not waiver from her simple testimony and declares that God lives and Jesus suffered for our sins. She declared her faith in the beautiful plan of life and she was not afraid to go home to her creator; in that she never wavered.

Enjoy a new life mom without pain and without atrophy. Know you will be missed and you will always be loved. You leave behind a proud posterity and eternal friendships. Again to quote Elder Maxwell, talent and love are never wasted. You certainly had talent and your love permeated all those around you. That same work continues with you today is my declaration and dedication to your honor, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.